MY BLOGS

The loud crash echoed and rattled the house in its foundations as I slammed the door with all the strength I could gather. Frankly, if I was Wonder Woman, I would have yanked the door from the frame and hurled it across the room! Confused by all the noise, the dogs scattered as I stormed out of the house red in the face, with eyes ablazed, spewing fiery words at the top of my voice.

Not a pretty picture of me several years ago. I'm not at all proud and I wish that time away!

Anger was my default emotion. It was a disguise and distraction from fear, shame, guilt, powerlessness, affliction, distress and all other vulnerabilities, desires, repressed and suppressed emotions.

Additionally, anger sufficed as a "coping" mechanism when my circumstances seemed ungovernable and I felt threatened, unsafe, insecure, and disrespected. Managing my circumstances offered a false sense of safety amidst my insecurities.

My anger kept people at arms-length. And I could proceed with my own plans−no explanation necessary. Though, anger is not a healthy coping mechanism.

What does the Bible say about anger?

  1. “… anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” (1) It couldn’t be more clear. Simple. What is God’s desire for us? To obey His Word, produce spiritual fruit and to praise him through the way we live. And when I’m angry, I don’t reflect God’s presence in my life, neither do I honor God.

  2. The Apostle Paul warns us, “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” (2) A warning to not sin, because anger blinds us. We don’t think clearly when angry. The result−unwise decisions. A further warning to “not let the sun go down” while still angry means don’t dwell on the anger but work without hesitation to solve the issues.

  3. Paul continues, “Get rid of bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” (3) This action inspiring verse tells us we have a choice. Let’s take responsibility to get rid of the anger and rage. Embark on the healing process in your anger issues. Jesus has done his part freeing us from the bondage of anger. But we still need to work through the anger.

How then do you get rid of your anger?

Dr’s Cloud and Townsend, authors of “Boundaries” explain, “Anger doesn’t dissipate automatically… It has to be worked through appropriately. Otherwise, anger simply lives inside the heart.” They continued saying “Anger is a friend. It was created by God for a purpose: to tell us that there’s a problem that needs to be confronted.” (4)

Recognize and acknowledge your anger issues.

Talk to God about your anger. Talk to God in your anger. Ask the Holy Spirit to provide wisdom and insight regarding your anger.

Confide in a close-friend or family member. Confessing your angry feelings in a relationship helps to decompress your bottled-up emotions. Verbalizing your anger, creates a setting to self-reflect, communicate, and gain understanding. Working through the anger assists with detoxifying the anger.

With the assistance of a psychologist, analyze your anger to help you understand the origin or cause of the anger.

  • Anger is a call for help and should therefore always be addressed.

  • Anger could be a sign of danger, warning you about violated boundaries.

  • Anger also emanates from deep-settled fears as in my life. Addressing the fears solved my anger issues.

Start rebuilding the injured parts of your soul. As you delve into your anger issues, you will discover rage together with a range of other emotions. No matter how hard it is, stay committed during the process to uncover and understand the emotions. Learn to accept yourself. Your confidence to communicate your boundaries will grow. You become less enslaved to fear.

Dear friend, it’s hard work to commit in tackling your anger issues. Don’t let your anger be a distraction from the real issues, the suppressed and repressed emotions, vulnerable needs, and desires. Start your healing process by facing your fears, shame, guilt and all the things causing your distress. May God guide you in your healing process.

Dear Lord, I lift my friend up to you in the struggle with anger. You know how tiresome it is and you know the devasting results of anger. You are aware of the broken relationships and the hardships caused by our anger. Jesus, you have given your life for us to be free from the bondage of anger. I trust you Lord, to guide us and unveil the real issues causing the anger in our lives. Guide us through our healing process. God, do what you are you are famous for, turn what the enemy meant for evil into good. Thank you, God, for loving us and giving us a second, third up the nth chance to start over. In the name of Jesus. Amen

Let me know how I can help you or leave a comment.

Until Next Time

Anita Beukman

Your Hope Coach

References:
  1. James 1:20
  2. Ephesians 4:26
  3. Ephesians 4:31
  4. Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr John Townsend. “Boundaries”